• Branding us as angry is a political move that seeks to invalidate our righteous critique of societal norms.
• Branding us as angry is an act of dehumanizing black womanhood, we arent allowed to be anything other than "strong" and "angry."
• Embracing our anger therefore is challenging; we have no courage because we have learned to dial down our anger. Which is our Fire!

1. First black women need to realize we are angry, and validate our right to be angry.
2. Next, black women must source the root cause of her anger. This varies person to person, as our lives are all nuanced and varied. We might all be black, but we are not all the same.
3. Lastly, express it. Black women are dealing with undiagnosed depression. Our depression doesnt look like other, non black, women's. Our depression looks like sugar diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, womb disease, kidney disease. Need i go on?

Intuitive Eating:

Reject the Diet Mentality. Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

Honor Your Hunger. Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.

Make Peace with Food. Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.

Challenge the Food Police. Scream a loud “NO” to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating under 1000 calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.

Respect Your Fullness. Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you’re comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?

Discover the Satisfaction Factor. The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence—the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you’ve had “enough”.

Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food. Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won’t solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You’ll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.

Respect Your Body. Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.

Exercise—Feel the Difference. Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it’s usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.

Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition. Make food choices that honor your health and tastebuds while making you feel well. Remember that you don’t have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It’s what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts

#HextoHeal

#DarkProse

#HealingTheDivineDarkMasculineWithin

I never, in my personal life, have had an example of a black man protecting black women and children without his dick being involved. He has to be screwing the woman to offer her any protection. Or screwing one of her children... I know too many black girls now adult women who were the trade-off for the "protection" of a man in the home.

I have never in my life been protected by a black man. Nor defended by a black man when his brothers have assaulted me. No black man has even gotten me justice or restitution. No black man has presented himself as someone interested in Healing and restoring the Womb and Wombn. Oh they all SAY they love their sisters. They CLAIM they love black women. But they SHOUT OVER you with their defensiveness and "not all men" fuckery. They speak condescendingly to us "sorry YOU had such negative experiences with the men you associate with but I'm not him and I don't know anyone like that" is an example of this. This is male speak for blame the woman, silence the woman, shame the woman, verbally assault and shock the woman into a frenzy state so we can sit back blameless.

This is what men do. This is how men respond to women and even to womens pain. Which is why i advocate women not sharing their stories in places where men are allowed a voice. The male voice is perpetually one of abuse and blame and shame of the Feminine and female. It is the sole purpose of the Diminished Masculine; to keep the Divine Feminine small enough to fit into his patriarchal world. The Divine Feminine must be reduced to Wounded Feminine for this to occur and be possible. So black males wound black women to keep us small enough to fit in the grand scheme of this present global social structure of Male on top. With black males warring for space at the top or at least at the feet of white men.

This has colored my vision from infancy to present. As the only way i have ever experienced black men, the primary manifestation i have seen in black men is as violent, rapist abusers of black women and black girls. I have seen far more sadistic black men than "good black men" retorts can excuse away. And of course this is "my problem" alone and no black male is responsible to me to correct this or to heal it. They LOVE their sisters, they LOVE black women but they aren't responsible for "the males we 'choose' to associate with." As if 'choice' is a factor in the abuse of women and girls? As if i 'picked' the leering adult males when i was but a girl. As if men haven't been waging a war on women's RIGHT to a choice in her life since the inception of patriarchy. No black male owes his mothers, sisters, daughters the Divine Rite of Healing and Protection. Even in a thriving functioning patriarchal and patrifocal structure males are not accountable for the healing and restoration of women. To say otherwise is to "man bash" yet should not man be BASHED THE FUCK INTO PIECES for what he has done and allowed to occur?

I am openly acknowledging that the black males horrific rape and abuse of me in my lifetime has absolutely impaired my connection to the Dark Divine Masculine. And as i do yet another work alone as a Wombn and Feminine, i understand the resentments, pains, and even RAGE i will experience are valid. These energy emanations are necessary to release, to receive the bounty that is Mine.

I had to process my deep hatred of black men in specific; to process my deep love of my Internal Dark Masculine self. Lay blame where it rests and do not internalize it. We absolutely have a right to be angry and to hate the very face of the people who have harmed us and sought to destroy us.

This is what REAL HEALING looks like. If you cannot HEX you will never HEAL.

Before there was Ever a Heavenly Father...

There was the Great Darkness Upon the Deep. Without Form, this Great Darkness emanated from a point of 0.

Self Begotten in the form of She, the Great Darkness Upon the Deep, became the Great Darkness in-Between.

Self begotten in the form of She, The Great Darkness in-Between was a Wondrous Magnificent Creator.

Self Begotten in the form of She, the Great Darkness in-Between Created a Light of Divine Heat, an ember of her Flame lit the skies a million times.

Self Begotten in the form of She, the Great Darkness in-Between became the Great Dark Mother. For of her Womb came the Divine Spark of the Galaxies. Each Galaxy was a Great Darkness Upon the Deep.

Self Begotten in the form of She, the Great Dark Mother witnessed her Many Dawtas creating Dawta Galaxies. Harmoniously they Vibed in the Great Sea of She.

Self Begotten in the form of She, the Great Dark Mother witnessed some Dawtas creating a new thing... They sang "Hail Hail! The Sun of God in the Highest! The Most Brilliant Thing! Hail Hail the Heavenly Host Proclaim This Sun of God Supreme in all the Realms. For by his Light, from Darkness we are Free!"

Self Begotten in the form of She, the Great Dark Mother repented her Creation. Weeping great Waves of tears, Heaving Thunderous Wails, her Light became Electric Whips of Power. Shifting and changing the Cosmos; the Great Dark Mother Raged and Stormed, her Pains were felt in every place.

And to this day, each time it rains, She Whispers to me:

Remember. Dawta. Remember Me.

#MammytoMamiWata

#TheBlacksAreMale

#TheWomenAreWhite

Women aren't weak for wanting a male companion. But we MUSNT let our wanting make us weak and needy. i check that shyt in myself too. We have to Stand in Power, even as a mate.

This is the reason i do not endorse this Viola Davis wig less in the bedroom scenes. I don't like seeing Annalise tell Sam "i need you" and stand in a space of lack in her THRONE ROOM! This representation has been rubbing me the wrong way so much, i haven't kept up with the show.

The message being sent is clear, Black Woman be the CAPTAIN and CHAMPION in the Courtroom, the Law a Class, The Realm of Legality. Sit on the Divine Throne of Judgment in your Work life. But lay down and be a carpet in your bedroom. Lay down and be a hump rag in your bedroom.

I cannot endorse that. I cannot endorse that Black women approach relating to men with or through emotion anymore. Because men do NOT meet you with emotion or approach relation to you in honor of your emotions. How can they? Their very righteous complaint is that they are "oppressed" because they have to be strong and not show emotion. This is something we Share as Black Women with the male population. And the reason we Black Women have a SHARED oppression space with male people is that BLACK WOMEN ARE REGARDED AS MEN and not as women. We are regarded as Masculine and not as Feminine. We are expected to be the Boss everywhere and as such, no one knows how to respond to our pain. This is where the shared space ends with men. When a man yelps he might be ridiculed by the bros... But the broads will swoon.

When a Black Woman Yelps?

No. One. Cares. To. Answer.

For this reason, i do not find women "weak" for wanting male companionship. For even needing male companionship. Because Black women DESERVE AND DESIRE to feel like women.

I had a meeting with a maid service yesterday. All these anxieties came up... "Is it wrong to hire someone? I can just do this myself. So what i am bogged down with a million other projects... My mama cleaned her house."

That is what snapped me out of it. I realized, no. Mama did NOT clean her house. In fact, mama had us to rely on as maids. Which means i have been:

• A cook
• A cleaner
• A laundress
• A tailor
• A style coordinate
• A home decor specialist

For 20 years. At this point, i am seeking to outsource some of my labor needs so i can enjoy my life better. The guilt we have of FEELING FEMININE and honoring our Feminine is astounding. The hold ups between Looking down your body, seeing two magnificent breasts, a curvy waist line and your GLORIOUS VAGINA but being regarded as, expected to, required to act as if you are anything But a Tender, Delicate, Rich, Valuable, Goddess is hell.

It is time to bridge the gap from Mammy to Mami-Wata.

I first read these pages in 5th grade. I was quite young when i realized that women are natural enemies to one another within male society. That it is other women, not men, who make life harder for young mothers, for young women who buck the societal norm of their mothers. For women who refuse to be boxed in.

It is ALWAYS another woman quick to bust you down. Argue with your wisdom, and assert her illogic as factual. It is always another woman saying "think about your children give him another chance" or "this is just what it means to be a man" or "you just hate men" to corral you. It is always a mother who will "my son isnt like that" even while crying about "becky" coming in to say "not all white people" or "this isnt about race."




WOMEN are the problem. Womens culture. Womens norms. Womens expectations. I had a woman write me asking for a "friendly reminder" for single mommies....

Friendly?
Friendly?

What is friendly about the world you birthed your children into? Friendly? In the midst of you acting a damn enough fool because you cannot be bothered to listen or to try, friendly reminders is what women want from we who believe in freedom.



Women are the problem. And the solution?... Is for womens minds to be completely system restored. Because womens lack of invested interest iN FEMALE SURVIVAL THRIVING AND WINNING IS KILLING US! Womens divestment from FEMALES WINNING damn all others, is the divisive thing. Womens insistence on us making way for their inherent weakness, their fucking sons, the man they made babies with yet arent married to today, the men who have "helped her" in life yet aint around while we gotta hear her bytch n moan... Womens insistence on mediocrity is killing us.

Womens insistence on doing things as they have always been done is killing us. These fake ass empowerment guru's who wanna coddle you and tell you, after the fact, how you ended up with children aint doing it. These fake ass priestess who tell you throw salt over your shoulder in response to RAPE CURSES aint cutting it.

But i have learned, women dont really want help or growth. They want a willing mammy. Who will let them wallow in nothingness. For those of ya who want more? Let us go upward bound together. Saddened by the fact that most wont win, but emboldened to make our ascent nonetheless. Women have to divest from the norms if we are ever going to truly be free. It truly will take one womb, one Wombn at a time divesting from the norms we have been programmed to subscribe to; to bring about female self interest. Women have for too long been made the mule of all the worlds problems. Black women, we in particular have been expected to shoulder the burden of everyone's problems. But no one is there to help us!

We need something shocking, this is how we will wake up and smell the rancid garbage... You know, the ish we convinced ourselves was "jus' a lil mess" but has us living like a spiritual/emotional episode of Horders. Divest from the things that bind you! Divest from the people who use you but are never there! Refuse to give discounts on your value and worth, people will act accordingly.

Yes, it is going to take one Womb, one Wombn at a time; divesting from the patriarchy and from societal constructions on what it means to be a Wombn.

#SovereignWombnhood

#BlackPeopleRewardMediocrity

#BlackCommunityFailureTraps

Baby mamas often have more privileges afforded to them than Women who were smart enough not to breed. I remember being a junior in high school and Massachusetts had this program where welfare mothers got free cars if they jumped through this or that hoop. I remember saying "here i am. Smarter than these baby mamas, more savvy, greater intelligence. I am in college, i didnt throw my life away on the fuck games men play. But these women get cars for being foolish whores and i have to figure it all out myself. Why do we reward the most lazy, shiftless, undeserving wenches? And leave the Smart women to languish." 18 year old Deva was a real tough cookie. Ouch.

Flash forward a year later, i am working full time and going to school. Because my baby mama sister was allowed to stay home and raise her child. And i HAD to leave the home and work to get to school. No financial support to the daughter who actually was doing something more than being a black mans hump rag. I couldnt even get my mother to sign the damn FAFSA. Which i needed since i was still under the age of federal majority. The Federal requirements to qualify for being an Independent Student Back in 2006 were:

• You are over the age of 24
• You are married
• You have a child of your own
• You are a ward of the state or orphaned.

Otherwise? You need your parents to submit their information and your financial aid award is based on their financial accomplishments. my mother bred with a bum bastard addict so, there was no one but her to turn to for help or with needs like this one. My mother REFUSED to submit simple tax information for my FAFSA. Now we arent talking about co-signing loans or anything big, just tax ID info. She refused to simply hand me the info to plug in myself! I was willing to do the data entry, she wasnt willing to grant me access to college. But she was willing to play grandma-baby-daddy and housed my baby mama sister, helped that fool with paying for everything for my niece. which meant i had to apply for private loans to go to college, anyone who did time in the "higher education system" knows these loans are more risky and cost higher in interest etc.

My mother grew up in a community of black women that devalued black womanhood outside of its capacity to be a broodmare; then abandoned those women when they accepted/succumbed to their predestined fate. Black womanhood isnt allowed to be ambitious and savvy until after she has busted out 2+ children. Then we say "yeah girl! Go on to school! Get yo degree on!" But if she does so BEFORE being reduced to some mans hump rag and broodmare? She is a bitch, selfish, evil, hates children etc. we basically bully black women into mediocrity. Then judge them when they land there. We privilege, aid, support, endorse the most foolish decisions and punish the wisest ones. And these black women lurk everywhere. Its not just your mama and auntie. It is the BWE, the metaphysical community, and the magical community as well. Well populated with b-lack women who mule and encourage a permanent posture of black community mule as the default position of black womanhood.

Oh. And my mama? Well to this day she sees no problem with having beaten into my head "get pregnant you are on your own" while coddling my idiot sister who was hot in the ass and wouldn't listen to Sound Wisdom much less apply it. It is no secret that i am Gifted as a Clairvoyant and I openly Embrace being The Controversial Oracle. My sister was forewarned and ignored the warning. She became pregnant 2-4 weeks after i warned her about her boyfriend. Everyone in the family knew, she still got and gets the support. And she, like most baby mamas, deserves none of it.

Why do black mothers punish daughters for success or wanting to succeed and reward the failures (the baby mamas)?

Jealousy.

Yes. It is black mothers jealousy that her daughter didnt repeat her stupidity. Oh black mamas say do better. But they punish you when you do. And they privilege the foolish siblings and hand them what should be going to you. My mentor says: "help is always given to those who do not need it." Which tells me, spiritually, baby mamas don't need help. If they did neeeeedddd it? They certainly wouldn't receive it! Usually it is those who do not need assistance who are granted said assistance.

Anyway, it was during this time period that this one 40 (FORTY) year old baby mama on my job would always try to argue with me (she found Devas back in da day Blog lol) about how unfair my beliefs were. It isnt fair to say that women with children are poor only because they were foolish and had babies they couldn't afford. It isnt fair to say that women can and must control their own pussy and fertility. I was the "privileged" one, she balked. It was me who had the easy life, she balked. Yes. Baby mamas pride themselves on being a mule. They also assume that women who were wiser and didnt breed have "easy lives" or "no problems." I just never understood why women who sport-fuck their way into obscurity should be rewarded or helped at all? What makes your value greater than someone who doesnt have babies attached to their womanhood, sexuality, identity and worldview? Why is motherhood the default privileged position afforded to women no matter how degraded (baby mama) the form of motherhood is? You ruined your own life. Why do you deserve any consideration? Why weren't you thinking about these things before you decided to let one slip past the goalie?

It especially bothered me, as a teen, how women get sympathy for being willing baby mamas. When women who are victims of harsh crimes and experiences get shamed. I never understood that. Still don't. The baby mama on my job kept saying "its divisive to think this way." Honeybee, we are always divided. My tax dollars feed your children and and keep the heat on in your house.What is more divisive than you getting to be an absolute fool, and also having access to benefits i dont qualify for, but that i am expected and forced to fund and supply for the enjoyment of you and your children?

I remember having to choose between having heat in BOSTON during winter and having my books for school. While the baby mamas of Boston got fuel assistance and the gas company by designation of the LAW cannot cut her power because of her children. Are women who breed some how more worthy of humanity and consideration than women who were smarter and didn't? Do women who have been broodmares deserve heat more than women who have not? Do women who are broodmares deserve college assistance while the smart women who didn't sport fuck herself into neediness does not? The entire system would seem to be established that way. To reward mediocrity and willful stupidity, over ambition, drive and tenacity.