sacred whispers blog
Veneration of the Dark Godis is Veneration of the Whole Wombn. Our Power is in Darkness, but first wo-men have to leave our patriarchal conditioning behind - leave the father's house and his rules! Embrace the Way of the Womb!
 I grew up watching this show. I mention this at the outset of the post because I loved seeing the variations in these sisters personalities. I had the Sinclair and Regine beaten (literally) out of my by my mother. She encouraged the aspects of me that were Khadijah and Maxine Shaw. In fact, girlie wanted to be a lawyer because of characters like Maxine Shaw and Claire Huxtable. But the innocent hippy and the Sovereign Lover who honors HER DESIRES AND HER PUSSY FIRST? Beaten right out of me. Those aspects of me did not serve her needs. And so I was fragmented, split into pieces, so I could serve her purpose instead of God's Purpose for my life. It is an ugly thing that black mothers do to their daughters. Generation after generation this cursed thing continues. They all do this for the exact same reason my mother did. I love my daddy.... but.... She failed to procure a worthy masculine to sire her children. So she did what most black women do to their daughters. We become the baby daddy she needs but failed to select prior to being bred and abandoned like a stray cat. *sips tea. *blinks daring a mf to try me. We are treated with no respect, zero empathy and expected to be even smarter than our own mothers were at our age. In many cases, our mothers were simply hot body teenagers who were screwing before they learned anything about themselves. Which is how they became mothers. Seldom do black mothers birth children by choice. Nearly 70% of all Black children are "oops" babies. Borne of mothers who don't believe in abortion... but interestingly believed in raw fornication. So much so they wound up with bastard out of wedlock babies being born. Funny how that morality works, ain't it yall? Yes. This is scathing. But fire burns and cleanses. It purifies. We grow up without loving affection. Too few of us have fathers in the home. I spent my teens and 20's resentful toward my mother and deeming her a weak mf who couldn't live without a man. She is. But there is more to the story too. She was smarter than the baby mama brigade. She knew we needed a father. She, having had a Patriarch Father who worked hard and provided his family with a home be owned and cared for; knew the value of a man in the home. Also she knew that if you’re gonna be the scarlet letter woman and breed with someone else’s husband, ya beta keep him around at least for appearance sake. And so she did. But it made her utterly miserable, and in that misery, from that self inflicted misery? She mothered and wifed all my childhood. She sacrificed joy, for sensibility and practicality. She did it so “my daughters do not grow up without a father.” But as a child all I saw is how much it hurt mommy to have my daddy in her life. My loyalty WAS to my mother exclusively. Key word WAS. She will never again receive that kind of dedication, nor will any other single living soul. However, when I was a child I did as a child. And my loyalty went to her. Righteously so, we ate and had shelter because MOTHER Provided. My mother WAS GOD! God is the creator. The maintainer. The sustainer. And she did all of that whether my father contributed or, as was most often the case, not. She too was raised hard. Her brother was coddled. My father was coddled. If my grandmother wasn't dead the last 30+ years? He would be at home with his mommy, right now today. As it is, he has only ever had lodging, (after he ruined his marriage making love to my mother, and producing me.) when he had a “woman.” The fact remains that because his mother coddled him, and her mother rode her like a mule? Always a harsh word from my granny to my mom.... she wasn’t ready or properly prepared for life. Because of this? My parents were ill matched. Mother wanted a Patriarch, as was her father. But a gentle soul which her career military father was not. My father is a gentle soul he was raised to be a Good Son. Not a Good Man, Good Husband, Good Lover, Good friend. Black women raise insufficient male children. And the whole race suffers. Yes I said it. We have to do better as mothers. You’re not raising your son. You are raising someone’s husband and father. Someone’s lover. For the love of all that is good and holy, raise your boys! Stop “loving on them” raise them! Remember he is someone’s future husband, future lover, future father, future friend. And raise him to be that! I've learned though, it's cultural, some of the norms we see in the black race. My fathers family is Maroon native. The women run the tribe. The men just seed and do the manual labor. Lol. My mothers family are Caribs. lol Bajan men work hard, it's what they know. They work hard, they secure the house and put the wife in it. Lol. It's the culture for men of my grandfathers time. But my mothers cohort were not prepared for the lazy, ungrateful, entitled, petty males that populate the earth in our race, today. I certainly was not prepared. And I see this of black American women. They, like my fathers mother, are raising good sons. Not strong patriarchs. So when I found this post by J. Renee I wanted to share. Cuz I agree. By Jenn Renee: Black Girls grow up to have beef with their mothers because we grow up in homes where our mothers are not affectionate with us. Our mothers are not gentle or soft with us. There’s very much a “no love lost” relationship between mothers and daughters. In general our mothers raised us. Our mothers did what they needed to do to get us through but there was no empathy for us growing up. So we go through life carrying that with us. Being hard and trying to adhere to the lessons that we were taught growing up. We address this in my Mother Wound healing and Father Wound healing. If you're interested? Sign up here for either session. Or you can sign up for my Mama Lessons class here.
photo cred: @munchmon
I think all the time about how very little I could do, if I had a bastard baby.
I have a very expensive makeup and shoe lust. Ain't NO baby getting in the way of that. I thought about that every day, as I woke up in my Jamaican Villa. Looking over James Bond Beach. I thought about it when I stayed at Golden Eye, a multi million dollar resort and spa. I thought about it as I relaxed, trained, healed, grew. How I would be a broken, ugly, useless lump if I had some bastard baby to care for. The reality is I am glad I have no children. And I'm happy WE ARE SPEAKING UP! Bw deserve BETTER than some 2.0. How about getting it right from jump and never needing a retake? Why can't we empower and embolden black girls to CHERISH the Womb space and refuse to grant men access who have made no commitment to them? Fucking for free is for THE DUMB! Not even a married woman should be giving up herself for nothing in return from her man. 
This post created quite a few waves. This sister has been called a mammy, and more. Because bw can't just disagree without having to SAVAGE another woman. Because the evil baby mama brigade™ has decided to wage war against the sovereign rite of Breeding in Season, for we who are childfree. They are attacking us all for daring to say we do not want the lives they lead as a result of their choices. Childfree women are being called all kinds of names by the evil baby mama brigade, a they have always done. I don't have to agree with every word written above. And I don't
But I do have to ask... Why can't we have more than the "I ruined my life with a bastard baby; but I got my shyt together and bounced back" story? Why is it so HORRIBLE for us to want more? Why are bw so hypersensitive that one sisters truth is read as a personal attack? For all our strengths, are we really so weak as to lack an ability to introspect and Be the Sovereign women or Gods we claim we are? Doesn't look like it. I love Ciara. I based my entire Dark Marriage 1 and Dark Marriage 2 class around her story. Training hundreds of bw how to bounce back with REAL DARK WISDOM! Which REAL DARK WISDOM is WITCH CRAFT or it is BULLSHYT! Period REAL DARK WISDOM is WITCH CRAFT or it is BULLSHYT! Period -Deva Fiyah
I enjoyed teaching. But I wish to GODIS we didn't have to coddle black women who fucked their lives over being foolish and self sacrificing. I don't even want to bother with such women anymore because they are often broken beyond repair and thus unable to do any work to heal. They balk at any attempt to help them grow and most would rather sit in their cursed state. Breeding out of season is a curse on you and the fruit of your womb. And I am not interested anymore in enabling and coddling such women. I'm interested now in the daughters who avoided this curse of breeding out of season. To help them stay the course.
So the WEAK among us will balk at the Priestess Wisdom I share. The WISE AND SAVVY BW are paying attention to win. Priestess Wisdom changed my life. And it has the power and ability to change yours too. I have a new 5 part course SEASON OF THE WITCH: Priestess Wisdom for Modern BW. I will be sharing with you sisters how to be The Priestess of your own life. How to preside over the realm of creation and death, with Real Dark Wisdom, and Dark Gnosis for Power Black women have been stripped of all power and authority. Left behind with nothing but self hate, self loathing, self sacrifice and self sabotage. This is 75% of bw too. You who encounter/come to me for healing are the Rare 1 in 4 who will divest and win. You need to learn how to identify with YOURSELF, and not concern yourself with someone else's struggles, failures and stupid decisions in life. We are NOT all in this together, the black sisterhood is dead and filled with bitter women who want you to FALL because they fell for the one eyed snake! Don't let them do that to you. Ignorance is indeed a CURSE, and the fallen bw wants to keep you ignorant thus cursed with her and her manifested bad decision making. Sign up here for my 5 course series SEASON OF THE WITCH: PRIESTESS WISDOM FOR MODERN BW
 I have issued myself a challenge regarding how I articulate my thoughts. With Angry Devas, the whole point was for me to be as crass, forward and brash as possible. To learn to be comfortable with making others uncomfortable. This was hard for me. I created it, so I could keep on living after being raped. I did the show every day, to stay alive. Angry Deva Saved my life, I clung to her like a baby for 3 years. Almost stunting my growth.
My rage came from rape, my anger came from rape and betrayal. So... The women who are upset with me, for cussin, fussin, and taking no shyt? Are women who would have preferred that I stayed quiet and unhealed. They don't care to understand what rape does to us. Some use our journey to jab at us, rape culture is enacted by women too. Angry Devas, as I said from the outset, was for me. I created Angry Devas so I had a place to recover and restore after sexual assault trauma. I needed an outlet, a place to access and wield my Righteous Indignation. I had to get it out of my system. We encourage expression even self expression; until we dislike how someone expresses themselves. Until we begin to deem ourselves as greater or higher than another and tell them how they should be, or react, or heal. The world is abusive to raped women, too. Perhaps worse. Healing doesn't look the same for everyone. Some people need to forgive. Some need to move on. And some of us, we beautiful messes? We require vengeance, to be restored. That vengeance often gets waged against the soul, when we do not express ourselves, our true feelings. For years, I was angry. I was angry at bm, because it was a bm who raped me, who molested me, who abused me sexually. It was always a bm. I was angry with bw, starting with my mother. Because she failed to protect me. As a girl, I did not allow myself to feel that anger at all. I certainly never expressed it. I was angry with women who have sons, because they are the ones who give birth to the men who rape us. |
AuthorDeva Fiyah is a Priestess, Anthropologist, Feminist, and Feminine historian. She has helped women from all around the world, actualize their Goddess Power, with Healing, Retreats and Courses in Self Mastery. Archives
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