sacred whispers blog
Veneration of the Dark Godis is Veneration of the Whole Wombn. Our Power is in Darkness, but first wo-men have to leave our patriarchal conditioning behind - leave the father's house and his rules! Embrace the Way of the Womb!
I want to talk about PTSD. This isn’t easy for folks to discuss. So I wanted to warn you before you read. I don’t want anyone having an episode.
It took me about a year after the rape, to realize that I was emotionally dissociative and anxious. It had instantly become normal, and given the abusive childhood, it was also easy to fall into. We think we’ve healed, but you know for sure that you haven’t, once another event triggers that old pain. I’m not saying what you’re doing is worthless, I am saying that HEALING is a journey. A very long journey, and suppression or “getting past it” is NOT healing.
Well I did those things; this is before I truly understood healing as the multifaceted prism that it is. Once you know better, though, you do better. I thought crystals and reiki and smudging and Yoni eggs and salt baths were healing. Nope. Those things won’t reverse a curse nor address the way that the trauma has physically impacted your internal/vital organs. They are for AFTER you have done a complete reworking or your life, soul and your body.
After I recognized the PTSD related symptoms of mistrust and emotional detachment? I began speaking and talking about them. I also, in my research on ways to come back after rape, learned that these trauma wounds can be and are inherited. You as a woman can inherit the trauma wounds of your grandmother or great grandmother. Given the confession of this nation to the rape of our enslaved ancestors? Given the confession of this nation to the forced breeding of our Foremothers?
I began to understand why black women were reacting and responding to live the way they do.
I began to see that the 74% oow birth rate is a response a trauma response to that old inherited trauma. Where the sole value of your womanhood is your ability to breed black bodies. Where control of your sexuality, given the HISTORICAL INHERITED TRAUMA of your raped and forcefully bred Foremothers, and the willful choice to breed black regardless of fathers absence or presence, is connected.
And I had to think differently. Look it is easy to fall back to the old program. But we all need to think differently. I decided to begin with me.
Deva Fiyah is a Priestess, Anthropologist, Feminist, and Feminine historian. She has helped women from all around the world, actualize their Goddess Power, with Healing, Retreats and Courses in Self Mastery.