sacred whispers blog
Veneration of the Dark Godis is Veneration of the Whole Wombn. Our Power is in Darkness, but first wo-men have to leave our patriarchal conditioning behind - leave the father's house and his rules! Embrace the Way of the Womb!
This isn't a question I ever considered until after I was married. I had plenty of evidence, plenty of reasons to ask this question. But I never allowed it. All my life, I had heard how "white" I was from black people. Wanting to be married before having babies? "You sound like a white woman" is what I heard back from never married, black mothers. Wanting to go to college? "Aunties kids think they white" was the retort of cousins, my mothers friends at work also would say to her that her children "thought they were white" for our ambitions and desires.
My desires and wishes as a teenager?
There were others. But let's keep this short.
Repeatedly, I was called too ambitious and strong minded (as if it is negative to be of sound and strong mind) to be a black woman. The way I talked was ridiculed, the way I walked and dressed too. So I should have seen it coming.
Alas, I was a very friendly child. And quite naive to how evil and sadistic the world can be. I was a girl in love with a boy, wanting to make a family. In my young mind, at that time, I was doing what every heterosexual woman alive wanted to. I was getting married to the love of my life and forming a new family. As women have done for thousands of years. I didn't see any of what they saw. I didn't see my choice to be loved by a Masculine Provider as a rejection of anything. This awareness was borne, by the reaction and response of the black people around me.
The women in my family turned against me the moment discussion of marriage to him became a reality. Once he proposed, I saw them shift away from me completely. They were all black women. And suddenly? I wasn't one. They were in this together, and I had betrayed the pack. My mother and my sisters, my aunties all reacted as if I BETRAYED them.
I couldn't understand how how my life choices to be married and happy could be received as anything else.
My life long refusal to conform to black "standards" (if we can call them that) of what it means to be a black woman; suddenly was too much. Not only had I rejected sexual coupling with the black woman's son all my teenaged years, in my 20's I was getting married to a man who also wasn't a black woman's son. This is a HUGE no no. They loved me, as long as I was talking about how we shouldn't take shyt. But the MONENT I actually practically applied it? I was deemed self hating. Many of you reading this will also deem me as "self hating" because I refuse to accept degradation and struggle as the definition of blackness. The rejection of the poverty consciousness that is now the prevailing black identity, the rejection of the struggle narrative of a bum and a baby, the rejection of being the ni**er of the world by mulling for a thankless community....
Chile the women in my family started treating me like I was the uppity light skint auntie!!! Simply for wanting MORE! For refusing to provide emotional labor to "the cause" aka the black male.
And they also began trying to bleed us dry financially. Not only am I married, I married outside the race. And ya know white men are "rich." I used to balk when folks said blacks are racist. I towed the party line of "blacks don't control the system" ya know. The regurgitated sound bite.
Blacks do control the system. In fact, the system is PREDICATED upon black inferiority. And since BLACK PEOPLE now define BLACKNESS as being broke, hood, a baby mama/daddy, never married, not speaking articulately or able to write cogent mf sentences!!!! All of this makes you black. I was called white all my life. Because we grew up outside the hood and I read books..... because I wanted to go to college!!! No bs. And other stupid ass shyt.
I used to balk when folks said blacks are racist. I towed the party line of "blacks don't control the system" ya know. The regurgitated sound bite.
Tell A negro you own your own business? They back the fuck up and look at yuh funny. Blacks don't have business. They have side hustles to make ends meet!!!! How do we differentiate between the groups? The blacks who want to thrive and live well, and the blacks who have begun to accept struggle and degradation as the sole narrative and defining quality of what it means to be black?
As a Priestess and Healer of the Womb, I often get bw complaining about the cost of healing and the cost of sessions. It has been said, "She think she a white woman with them prices." Baby, the white woman charges you hundreds and often THOUSANDS of dollars to speak to her for 1 hour. I only charge ya black ass $125. Seriously!? 😂
Black folks degrade blackness, project their willful degradation onto whiteness, and blame white people for not being dysfunctional beasts in THEIR communities. Or cite the anomalies in white communities to justify the indignity of black community. This whole thing is a part of the black psychosis and mental illness. I am going to now deem BLACKNESS ITSELF as mental illness. We have to invent a new identity, or at least a way to delineate between the mentally stable and the mentally insane.
First of all, black = brain lack. You lack certain cognitive functions and mental faculties to be healthy and successful. The definition of INSANE is to repeatedly do the same thing, expecting a different result. And yet here we have negros. Doing the same dumb shyt generation after generation.
Blackness is mental illness. To be black now means to be mentally deprived and mentally impaired. That is the only way to actually identify with the culture and call it your own. You have to become ONE of them. Or you ain't really black.
Dark as I am?? I'm not considered a "true" black woman. Nope. Ya right. I'm not. I don't have the mental impairment of a black woman. I am a woman of dark hue. But I am not the same as a black woman. Discovering who you are, is a huge part of divestment from blackistan. The black community tells you who to be and assigns a role to you. To break free, and trailblaze is to divest and be Sovereign.
We have to go from Empathy to Apathy, as black women. The whole world preys on our hearts and good intentions. Becoming apathetic to the plight of others is how we divest from being mammy and instead invest in being WHO WE TRULY ARE. discovery of this is difficult without help, schedule your session with the Priestess. Let's change your life together.
Deva Fiyah is a Priestess, Anthropologist, Feminist, and Feminine historian. She has helped women from all around the world, actualize their Goddess Power, with Healing, Retreats and Courses in Self Mastery.