Death by cop, lynchings & rape: when respectability politics goes wrong

#ToxicMasculinity

"Dress the way you want to be addressed." This is presently the male response and reaction to women's requests to be regarded as human, vs a series of holes that exist just for men to penetrate.
It would appear that, in our case as black women, black men fully recognize their right to exist and not be deemed thugs or dangerous based on their clothing choices. However, when we make requests of them to show the same courtesy, they are unable to hear us and proceed to suggest "logical" reasons why their refusal to listen is valid. Among these "logical reasons" are "don't dangle meat in front of dogs and be mad when they bite" or "don't wear a Ho's attire" or "you must have wanted the attention" and other such "pearls of wisdom." These men believe, unfoundedly, that they are noble in telling us to "cover up." Louis Farrakhan was recently heralded as a "real man" for offering "protection from the NOI" to Beyonce, after Florida police refused to do detail work for her concerts. However, he had also just recently given an edict to Jay-Z to "tell his wife to cover up!" Interesting intersection there.

Science has proven that males are incapable of actually hearing the female voice and taking her seriously.

The guys could easily hear and understand other men’s voices. However, women have a greater natural melody in their voices and possess a more complex range of sound frequencies than a male voice.

The men in the study had a harder time deciphering them and really hearing what a woman was saying. When they heard the female voices, they had to decipher them using the part of the brain that processes music — a more complex process than is used in the part of the brain that analyzes a male voice.

This process may worsen as we age. Or we may lose some of our hearing for other reasons.

Also, Dr Michael Hunter, co-author of the study, noted that voices allow the brain to determine various factors about a person’s appearance, including sex, size and age.

It is much more complex than most people think and is an extremely important tool for determining someone’s identity without having to see them.

So, when listening to a woman’s voice, a man must make an extra effort subconsciously or consciously, to concentrate on what he is hearing. If he can’t (or won’t), then I guess he has an excuse for selective hearing.

Dr. Paul H. Deutsch is board certified in internal medicine and a member of The William W. Backus Hospital medical staff.

I recently was speaking with a sister healer and mother of sons, she explained to me the great difference between raising males and raising girls! She explained to me that a conversation she had with a psychologist revealed that in order to get males to register her voice as WORDS and not just sounds, she needed to clap or. Make a noise to get his attention.

Men apparently would rather "listen" to the "energy" our outfits emit than the energy of our voices saying no, I'm not interested.

What I find to be most intriguing; our foremothers and forefathers were well dressed, yet made to suffer gross indignities in this nation. Martin Luther King was wearing a suit and tie when he was murdered/lynched. Malcolm X was wearing a suit and tie when he was murdered/lynched. Countless black women and men in suits and looong dresses were turned into strange fruit all around this nation.

Therefore, I posit, that in addition to a genetic inability to hear and process the far more complex feminine voice, male culture itself is desirous of stagnation. The Diminished Masculine's perpetual and cross racial inability to review history and adapt/reform, means we are doomed to remain trapped in a never ending story of collusion with oppression and citation of attire and other presentations as "the reason" it has happened.

(Sidebar: I'm not surprised by Farrakhan! The man still rocks Brooks Brothers suits and Stacey Addams shoes! He still got that conc, he will never change lol)


It is an unfortunate reality that far too many of these toxic and diminished masculine are out there. We need to learn how to recognize them, what are the signs and symptoms of the Diminished Masculine. Only then can we begin to alleviate this sickness, that seeks to keep the Divine Feminine wounded, in our interpersonal lives. Unfortunately, I do not believe that men en masse can or will be changing this of their own volition any time soon.

What is Toxic Masculinity?