THE SIREN MUSE TEMPLE
  • Home
    • Join the Mailing List
  • Testimonials
  • About
    • Contact >
      • Dear Deva Letters
  • Donate
  • Blog +
  • Consultations
    • Where do I start Consultation
    • The Eros Oraxle
    • Dark Mother Reading
    • Restoration after Trauma Consultation >
      • Trauma Restoration Mentorship
    • Dark Angels Reading
    • Dark Love Reading
  • Mentorship
  • Yoniversity
    • Cosmic Yoni Egg
    • Yoni Language 1: The Sacred Art of Yoni Breathing
    • Yoni Language 2: Sensual Magic of the Dark Godis
    • Yoni Language 3: The Art of Energy Movement
    • Yoni Language 4: Feminine Pleasure Privilege
    • The Power of O
    • Womb Songs: Yoni Egg Meditation
  • Book Studies
    • Mami Wata Bookstudy
    • The School of Man
  • Master Classes
    • Sacred Intonations >
      • Mantra Guru
    • New Classes >
      • Mindful Manifestation
      • The Art of Sex Magic
      • The Art of Spiritual Cleansing
      • Activating the Dark Goddess Within
      • Sonic Sensual Healing
      • The TRUE COST of family dysfunction
      • The Art of Feminine Seduction
      • Breaking the Poverty Chaos Curse
      • Art of Siren Seduction
      • Transcendental Logos
      • The Holiness of Help
      • Yoni Language: the Dark Art of Subjugation
      • Dark Magic: The Lost Art of Dark Glamour
      • SEASON OF THE WITCH: ​PRIESTESS WISDOM FOR MODERN BW
      • Creating God in You
      • Sistarhood Infrastructure Call
      • Manifestation Circle
      • Dark Mother Invocation
  • Shop
  • Priestess of Pleasure Initiation
  • Thriving after Surviving; The Healers Guide
  • The Luminous Path: Awakening your Divine Gifts
  • The Resurrection Retreat

The Angry Deva's Blog

Veneration of the Dark Godis is Veneration of the Whole Wombn. Our Power is in Darkness, but first wo-men have to leave our patriarchal conditioning behind - leave the father's house and his rules! Embrace the Way of the Womb!

The Trauma of Parenthood

6/28/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture

EVERYONE knows that being the parent of an infant is hard. There’s the sleeplessness, the screaming fits to tend to, the loss of autonomy, the social isolation and the sheer monotony of it.

Everyone also knows that there is only one socially acceptable response to this predicament: a dogged insistence that the adoration you feel for your child makes all the sacrifices worthwhile. It’s “the toughest job you’ll ever love.” The only valid excuse for feeling sad or despondent is a postpartum hormonal crash. What other justification could there be for greeting your bundle of joy with despair?

This is the ideology of modern parenting, and it can lead to unnecessary feelings of guilt and shame, for it ignores an inconvenient truth: that many women and men experience significant psychological distress in response to becoming a parent and that much of this distress isn’t caused by a hormonal epiphenomenon of the birth process. It is driven instead in large measure by the objectively bleak circumstances new parents often face. That you love your child is not always sufficient to counteract this reality.

Fortunately, over the past few years, the ideology of parenting has been challenged by social scientists, who have repeatedly demonstrated a profound disconnect between parenting dogma and the actual experience of parenthood.

Although many parents happily take to their new role, millions every year respond with despair. According to a 2010 article in the Journal of the American Medical Association, among new parents — three to six months postpartum — 42 percent of mothers and 26 percent of fathers exhibit signs of clinical depression. In a longitudinal study reported earlier this year in the journal Pediatrics, men on average experienced significant increases in depressive symptomatology across the first five years of fatherhood (if and only if they lived with their child). Indeed, in the years after becoming a parent, both men and women experience significant reductions in their overall level of satisfaction with their lives, according toa 2008 paper in The Economic Journal.

The story is similarly bleak when we look at people’s day-to-day experiences. In a study published in the journal Science, people reported their emotional experiences during each of 16 activities over the course of the previous day: working, commuting, exercising, watching TV, eating, socializing and so on. They experienced more negative emotion when parenting than during any activity other than working. And they experienced more fatigue when parenting than during almost any other activity.

Parenthood takes its toll on your relationships as well. A 2009 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the transition to parenthood is linked to reduced happiness in the marriage and more negative behavior during spousal conflict. Evidence also demonstrates that this transition is connected to substantial reductions in the size of a parent’s networks of family and friends.

This research, which doesn’t even touch on the staggering financial cost of raising a child, provides clear evidence that for many people becoming a parent is one part blessing, one part trauma.

Given the ideology of parenting, it’s not surprising that we typically blame biology for the experience of postpartum depression. But the circumstances parents face are often demonstrably miserable. The fact that postpartum depression rates are much higher among the poor than among the wealthy, who can purchase peace of mind through hired child care, supports the idea that the phenomenon is, in most cases, more circumstantial than biological.

As a recent parent myself, I urge you to consider this the next time someone you know greets the transition to parenthood with hopelessness or even despair. Pursue kindness over ideology. For a person whose suffering has been met with judgment, a sympathetic ear can make all the difference.

Eli J. Finkel is a professor of psychology and of management and organizations at Northwestern University.

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Creative Commons License
    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

    Angry Deva's

    Writing is my Joy and Pleasure. I've been writing creative pieces, analytic pieces and empirical pieces since I learned how! I use my pen and prose to expose people to things they either don't know or never thought of. I am political, analytic, critical all things that Virgo/Gemini is.  The Logos is the Eros to me. <3
    #thecontroversialoracle

    Witty, Wise, Fierce, Fiyah Personified! This Bitch Godis everything you feared, all you wish to avoid, and everything about yourself you hate or wish ya could be. ;)

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    March 2022
    January 2022
    June 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories

    All
    Black Feminism
    Black History
    Black Image Politics
    Breeding In Captivity
    Collusion
    Dark Wisdom
    Divine Feminine
    Divine Masculine
    Female Complicity
    Female Complicity
    Female Expression
    Female Sexuality
    Fe Male Vs Wombn
    Fe-Male Vs Wombn
    Growth
    Illusion
    Image
    Male Sexual Terrorism
    Menstruation
    Mother Is The Root
    Mothers Fail Sons
    Mothers Of Sons
    Mothers Of Sons Are The ENEMY Of Women And Girls
    No Verbal Blow Jobs
    Patriarchal Divisiveness
    Patriarchs
    Penetration As A Political Weapon
    Policing Female Existence
    Politics Of Expression
    Sexual Abuse Survey
    Sexual Violence
    Spirituality
    Spiritual Self Defense
    The Penis Is A Weapon Of Mass Destruction
    Transitions
    White Man B*tch
    Womb Hatred


**by signing up I am agreeing not to share, disclose or otherwise violate the confidentiality or the integrity of the information discussed within the tele-calls, e-books, retreats, gatherings and e-mail messages, including but not limited to videos, pictures, screenshots, file sharing, e-mail forwarding the digital recordings of The Dark Divine Feminine's works and classes. I commit to honoring the Value of The Dark Divine Feminine's Work Ethic, Generosity and Compassion; I understand that failure to do the aforementioned, results in a forfeit of my paid funds and a cancelling of all services.

​By signing up I am agreeing to all policies and procedures. By signing up I am acknowledging that I have read the policies and procedures and am bound by them. I understand that I must comply with all policies and procedures, before I will receive my item I paid for. I understand that breaking rules and or refusal to comply with the policies and procedures forefeits my funds and cancels any and all partial or full enjoyment of services/retreats/classes/memberships/book studies rendering them and monies paid null and void.

I understand that Spiritual services, Mentorships, Memberships, Readings and classes/book studies are non refundable and commit to full payment and seeing through my intention or forfeiture of prior partial or fully paid funds if i quit.
I understand I will be charged an additional fee if my session goes over the stated time.
The Dark Divine Feminine has a strict 48 hour rescheduling/cancellation policy as follows:
If you have paid for your session and need to reschedule please do so within 48 hours by email to [email protected] so that we can adjust your appointment. If you fail to reschedule your appointment please understand that The Dark Divine Feminine
will not refund your session fee, period.

All blog posts whether about real living or imaginary fictional characters; are for entertainment purposes only.
  • Home
    • Join the Mailing List
  • Testimonials
  • About
    • Contact >
      • Dear Deva Letters
  • Donate
  • Blog +
  • Consultations
    • Where do I start Consultation
    • The Eros Oraxle
    • Dark Mother Reading
    • Restoration after Trauma Consultation >
      • Trauma Restoration Mentorship
    • Dark Angels Reading
    • Dark Love Reading
  • Mentorship
  • Yoniversity
    • Cosmic Yoni Egg
    • Yoni Language 1: The Sacred Art of Yoni Breathing
    • Yoni Language 2: Sensual Magic of the Dark Godis
    • Yoni Language 3: The Art of Energy Movement
    • Yoni Language 4: Feminine Pleasure Privilege
    • The Power of O
    • Womb Songs: Yoni Egg Meditation
  • Book Studies
    • Mami Wata Bookstudy
    • The School of Man
  • Master Classes
    • Sacred Intonations >
      • Mantra Guru
    • New Classes >
      • Mindful Manifestation
      • The Art of Sex Magic
      • The Art of Spiritual Cleansing
      • Activating the Dark Goddess Within
      • Sonic Sensual Healing
      • The TRUE COST of family dysfunction
      • The Art of Feminine Seduction
      • Breaking the Poverty Chaos Curse
      • Art of Siren Seduction
      • Transcendental Logos
      • The Holiness of Help
      • Yoni Language: the Dark Art of Subjugation
      • Dark Magic: The Lost Art of Dark Glamour
      • SEASON OF THE WITCH: ​PRIESTESS WISDOM FOR MODERN BW
      • Creating God in You
      • Sistarhood Infrastructure Call
      • Manifestation Circle
      • Dark Mother Invocation
  • Shop
  • Priestess of Pleasure Initiation
  • Thriving after Surviving; The Healers Guide
  • The Luminous Path: Awakening your Divine Gifts
  • The Resurrection Retreat