The Angry Deva's Blog
Veneration of the Dark Godis is Veneration of the Whole Wombn. Our Power is in Darkness, but first wo-men have to leave our patriarchal conditioning behind - leave the father's house and his rules! Embrace the Way of the Womb!
For all we who remained childfree. With no fucks given to the broads who did not!
As a child I was afraid of being the wrong black girl stereotype. I never wanted to be the baby mama black girl. The girl with no value because she has babies and no husband.
I actually was so deeply afraid of not the damn label of baby mama but the FULL ON REALITY of the baby mama, i didnt have sex until i was 21. Then i only had sex whenever i was so fuckin horny i couldnt stand it. Still do to this day.
So i am seeing now two anti-black woman stereotypes:
I never feared the stereotype I DID end up having brandished at me, though:
Though I was called plenty (all kinda really) of prudes by whorish men who wanted my virgin pussy... It never bothered me. Because I knew they and their turned out cheerleaders (the girls who also jeered at Virgins and taunted our "Prized Status" among the boys) only screamed prude because they were pissed they couldn't scream "whore" or "baby mama slut" at me. I knew that all the females who joined the males would be the very product they were attempting to bully me into. And I also knew that all would be well in my world.
I knew that the pressure to be a black unwed mother (the default setting of black girls who have unprotected sex in their teens at the time when i was a teen) was too great to give into. I focused instead on my education and my Religious studies.
After I established myself as a budding successful young woman, I looked around... And I see the ashen faces of my cohort. These formerly vibrant women were now tired, beat down, with at least 2 babies a piece by random negros who went "Swayze" on their asses when the chick came up pregnant. I am watching women in their 40's scramble to recapture their lost, wasted, squandered years.
And I say I would rather the prude and "man-hating lesbian" verbal assault... Than the lives of women who now have unwanted babies they have to learn to love and rear appropriately. Which i see far too little of, with way too much resenent, hostility, anget and jealousy directed from mother to daughter.
I am an elitist in my own life. I see no problem with the term. I do think that women who have children made silly choices based on emotional whims without one thought to their future. Or worse their child's future.
All my life? The only person i wanted to be better than is my mother. Who gave birth to me at 28... After fucking her best friends husband...
I am 29 with no babies. Base Mission Accomplished.
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Writing is my Joy and Pleasure. I've been writing creative pieces, analytic pieces and empirical pieces since I learned how! I use my pen and prose to expose people to things they either don't know or never thought of. I am political, analytic, critical all things that Virgo/Gemini is. The Logos is the Eros to me. <3